On Feminism
Can you be a feminist if you aren’t buying into feminism? (Ryan Gosling v. The Patriarchy)
I don’t know that my thoughts on feminism will ever be concrete, but there are a few constants about myself I know to be true:
On Men: I don’t hate men. Well, not all of them. There are definitely some I’d elect to throw overboard, but as a whole, I would say I enjoy men. I even liked one enough to partner up with for life (still weird, still love it); luckily he cooks good and is easy on the eyes. * Hi Billy! *
On Woman: Were it not for the incredible women in my life, I’d prob be stuck in a ditch somewhere. I think women are the coolest. But not all women, though. Some are super sucky. That aside, our bodies literally create human life… which is just so swank. (I feel like we should make the word “swank” a thing. Like, say it with me: “That’s swank.” Sick right?!)
On Morality: The idea that women come out the womb more inherently moral than men is as laughable as it is wrong. Women are not saints, men are not sinners, and as for morality? Well mine is definitely up for debate.
On Labels: Lame. Limiting. Lifeless. Out on all of that. Respectfully.
On Patriarchy: Absurdity.
On My Body: Samuel Alito, Clarence Thomas, Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, Amy Coney Barrett. Jail.
Anddddd that’s me! The end.
(You Wish)
(I’m Back)
I will say, though, how I identify with feminism—through the lens of those truths and beyond—seem to be ever-changing.
Where I stand today: Contemporary feminism feels unnecessarily complicated, off-putting, and, if I’m reallyyyy honest here, a bit narcissistic, too.
Okay. I know that kinda sounds bad on paper, but I think it carries weight IRL.
Let me Explain: In the very literal sense of the word, I am and always will be a feminist to my core. Inequality infuriates me, and I have never been one to let some backwards-hat-cliché get away with a misogynistic slur. It’s just not in my DNA.
Still, when I consider feminism in today’s cultural climate, I feel disappointed. What once felt human now seems reduced to a commodified game of identity politics, hijacked by some bad Start Up’s marketing department.
Are you a “Girl Boss” or the “Anti-Woke-Cool Girl”? Pick your poison (as long as you’re not a “Pick Me” girl), the choice is yours (except when it comes to your body).
*slides into the Supreme Court’s DMs*
Between the Greta Thunberg Tweets, “Pussyhats”, and Stormy Daniels’ simple existence, feminism feels like a brand diluted with meaningless buzzwords, depreciating its value by the day. It seems like the more we buy into this brand, the more hashtags we post, and, in turn, the more justified we feel in our sense of female empowerment. Yet, ironically enough, the patriarchy still prevails and women continue to live like it’s 1963. The math isn’t math-ing.
So, I wonder… can you be a feminist if you aren’t buying into feminism?
Over the past decade or so, I have experimented with all the tropes and feminist trends. From Free the Nipple to #MeToo, I have flirted my way through each subculture with deep curiosity and cosplay. And though I feel detached from many of my feminist phases and eager spirits that I once proudly preached, I regret none of it. Because without that exploration, I wouldn’t be as confident as I am today that all these cool-girl-subcultures and their stereotypes only foster divide and distract us from the greater cause at hand: genuine gender equality.
I don’t disagree that feminism is intertwined with other important forms of oppression, but I worry that when it comes to the feminist agenda, we are starting to get messy and act without cohesion. For if we execute by the means of partisan polarization, I fear we will fail to execute entirely… Hi @Congress.
Can we embrace an intersectional approach to feminism that recognizes the varied, overlapping forms of oppression women face, without allowing our own self-interests to undermine the solidarity needed to take collective action?
I’d like to think so.
But for that to happen, we must begin with individual reflection.
Starting right after this:
I’m sorry but this is just too good.
A study from the University of Saskatchewan (???) found that men are more likely to agree with feminist statements after seeing Ryan Gosling memes from the "Feminist Ryan Gosling" Tumblr. So in case all else fails (pussyhats and all), at least we can still count on Ryan Gosling to singlehandedly dismantle the patriarchy.
hahahahahhahahaha
Back to Business!!!
(I’m sorry but that was just too good to leave on the sidelines)
Anyways, I really do believe that introspection is key to enabling true change. Especially in today’s digital landscape.
Thanks to social media, the line between activism and self-promotion has become a thin tightrope to walk. It’s hard to tell whose activism is real and who is out here just trying to collect virtue points to boost their own personal brand.
(I say this without detest, I for sure need to check myself from time to time, too.)
I find the susceptibility that our generation has to [not so] subtle narcissism is concerning. A movement that once shattered the silence around sexual harassment and assault is now falling on deaf ears (with noise canceling headphones), beset by internal contradictions and external motivators. Think: #MeToo backlash.
And this happens from the top down, too. Even RBG wasn’t above it. She clung to her Supreme Court seat until her last breath, FULLY aware that the preservation of Roe v. Wade was at stake. And for what? Admiration? The sake of optimism? No. For her commitment to her own personal beliefs, which she prioritized over the urgent need to protect women’s rights in our country. I mean did she truly believe that she could outlive her metastatic pancreatic cancer? At age 87 none the less. I digress…
Self interest has its consequences.
Clearly.
So let’s take out our super cute selfie sticks for a hot sec and start with our own personal biases.
Reflection: What is your main concern when it comes to women’s rights? The first thing that pops into your head… Is it the wage gap? Your sexist boss Jerry who has promoted your male counterpart over you for the second time in a row? (We all know a Jerry)
Whatever it is, I am certain your frustration is valid, enraging even. But, without minimizing your unjust truth, how does it compare to the majority?
Do our individual sensitivities desensitize us to the harsher, more pressing realities of the world around us?
Because let us not forget that it is a privilege to complain about your middle-class wage gap.
Reminder: The struggles of black and brown women in an impoverished urban neighborhood are not the same as those of a white woman in a corporate boardroom, yet both experiences are valid and must be addressed with fervor.
Systemic oppression due to classism remains a barrier to genuine equality for millions of Americans. Practices like redlining, which historically denied services to certain racial and ethnic communities, continue to have devastating effects that disproportionately tend to affect impoverished women the most. Which amounts to 21.4 million women to be exact.
And with well over 1 million abortions each year, about 75% of which are obtained by women who come from low income or impoverished households, it is imperative that each feminist (and not feminist, for that matter) understand the impact of this.
That means that around 750,000 women each year choose to have an abortion, oftentimes because they cannot afford to have the child. Let alone proper health care to support their own reproductive health needs, which is a fundamental right that is essential for women’s autonomy and well-being. Add this to the burden of the Hyde Amendment, which has been restricting federal funding (including Medicaid) for abortions since the 70s, and you’ve got the weight of the world on the shoulders of women who can barely afford meat and potatoes, let alone diapers.
Consider the alternative: 750,000 low-income, pregnant women each year unable to choose an abortion, leading to the birth of children they likely cannot support. This then results in 1.5 million people (mother + child) struggling to afford a dignified life, while receiving minimal to zero federal or state support, mind you. Affordable daycare, my ass. Cause that really puts the pro in pro-life? An actual joke. Limiting access to abortion is starting to feel like sending we’re sending women on a one-way flight out of economic participation entirely (preferred seating, how kind…). Effects of this? Ha. UM IDK… Increased crime. Overpopulation mayhem. Preservation of rotten bananas. Etc.
Cute, no?
And if that isn’t enough to shock your system, hopefully this is: Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, West Virgina, Kentucky and Alabama (to name a few) are all states with the highest percentage of low income women AND have near-total abortion bans currently in place.
This is not just a matter of pro choice vs pro life; it is a seriously dangerous social injustice for ALL genders that demands a unified, focused feminist response.
I know this essay takes a bit of an uncomfy, political lean - something that is definitely out of my comfort zone to write about - but I think it’s important, right? To consider ourselves in relation to not just the other, but the whole.
This November we have a pivotal election approaching, WHICH I completely forgot was so close until Billy reminded me two moths ago, lol. So, consider this essay my way of making up for the much needed lost time. Because social media is taking over the world and using our platforms effectively is how we can slay them dragons. And personally, I don’t think that abortion and woman’s health rights are currently getting the meaningful media attention it deserves.
While other news dominates the headlines—from Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s newest kissy pic to Israel vs. Palestine college protests taking new extremes — we must be strategic in how we maximize our media platforms. Because it matters. At least, to me it does.
I’m not saying we must bypass pop culture’s hottest gossip (I love me some Deuxmoi tea. Also team Kendrick.) or to forget the very real crisis in the Middle East: Both the Israeli hostages and Palestinian women and children that are still suffering due to the Hamas-Israel conflict. However, I am saying that I believe that right now feminists in our country need to set aside divisive issues and come together to prioritize the MILLIONS (sorry, once more for the people in the back: MILLIONS) of women and children that are tragically being affected here at our own home base. Because THIS is how we can create a movement that impacts. This is how we rewrite an equitable narrative and regain control of basic human rights.
That’s why we vote — to amplify our voices without saying a damn thing - which, let us not forget, is a right we are privileged to have thanks to the women who fought before us.
Sexism will never cease to exist, and women will continue to be patronized by short kings whose egos compensate for their lack of endowment. And as my girl Susan Sontag once said, “Don’t take shit from the bastards.” Commit to your personal issues, but don’t let them outshine the bigger picture at hand. Stay focused. Keep it real and keep it moving. Because that’s how we make magic happen. That’s feminism, bitch.
Xx.